Snapshots from El, Inc.

Peering into the future

About a week ago, I got an email invitation to the University of Pittsburgh's interview weekend. It's hard to convey the incredible joy I felt when I got that news! I'd been wrestling on and off with self-esteem issues, obsessively thinking that my application and preparation was inadequate, making "in case no one accepts me" plans, etc.
It was very calming to hear some warm words and concrete evidence for my dense soul that God is indeed in control. :)

So, with graduate school now a very firm possibility, I've been doing more and more thinking about my future, both short-term and long-term. If I go to Pittsburgh, I need to look for a church to plug into, I need to find a place to live, etc. These things affect Anna, too, cos with more concrete possibilities she's been looking at schools and options in Pittsburgh.
I also learned that applying to the Center for the Neural Basis of Cognition (joint Pitt/CMU venture) is still a possibility. I really want to, and I think the only thing holding me back is my assessment of my competence. Because students of the mind who ignore the brain will quickly get left behind; too much is happening in cognitive and computational neuroscience for me to lightly pass this opportunity by. I'd like to put myself in the strongest possible position to contribute after my PhD to both knowledge of the mind and the advancement of knowledge and learning in Malaysia.

Dealing more intimately with the details of experimental design, ethics, and the IRB is giving me more of a realistic taste of what my life will probably be like in the next 4-5 years. Lots of hard work, lots of time put in, but oh how I love it! :) I have increasingly more confidence that this is what God made me for.

Working harder on controlling my finances has also helped me to see how my money flows, what I tend to spend money on, how much I need to live comfortably, etc. Makes me think of the possibility of marriage while in graduate school, and how we would go about it financially. With all the possible variability, we know for sure that it won't be easy. But God has also shown Himself faithful in providing for us, usually just enough so we know that He's there, but not so much that we get complacent. We're so grateful to Him for His loving provision as our Father. :)

It's weird for me, thinking so concretely about what to do after graduation. It's yet to sink in for me that this is my last semester at Ozarks. 4 years of liberal arts education, somewhat sheltered from the harsh winds of adult life.. In May, I will (God willing) walk to receive my diploma, and then... Who knows? God knows, for sure, and I think I have some ideas, but.. It's going to be an interesting journey, with lots of hard work and sweat, tears, and joy in store..

Through all this, my prayers remain the same:


I'm looking forward to this year. :)

Labels: For the spirit, Musings, Snapshots

posted by Joel Chan @ 3:29 PM