Thoughts provoked by "Get Service."
So I've been wrestling lately with a giant that is too strong for me: selfishness. I feel very "tender" these days. Easy to spark off. Oversensitive. Over-thinking. Almost like a slave to my Self-pity and Pride. Almost to the point of despair.I sometimes see myself from a third-person perspective (probably the Holy Spirit's work) and know that the fuel, if not the root, of my woes is my selfish pride, and the lies it feeds me.
I wanted...but I didn't get.
I expected...but I didn't get.
I deserve...but I didn't get.
I gave...but got not thanks in return.
I messed up...and was given no mercy.
I am the lonely victim...
I am the thankless hero...
I am the neglected struggler...
Devilish lies my bloated Self whispers into my consciousness.. PAH!
I identify very strongly with the protagonist in the "Get Service" video. And with the conflicted, disillusioned David Dunn in M. Night Shyamalan's Unbreakable (excellent movie, btw). I wish I had those "Get Service" glasses on all the time. Unfortunately, God has not seen fit to be so kind with me yet. Or maybe I need to pray harder for a change of eyes. In any case, I know with painful certainty that I am, somewhere in my core, a deeply self-centered being.
Sometimes I feel like a slave, you know? A slave to my selfish pride. Pride says, "Get annoyed." And I do, despite my screaming soul pleading with me to love.. Pride says, "Throw a Pity Party. Invite yourself, and shut everyone else out." And I do, against the gentle promptings of my Father...
But you know what? There is hope. =)
Here's a timely rhema I received today. Drink in..
"If you hold to (remain, abide, continue in, keep coming back to, cleave to) my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:31-32).
I think I see an antidote to those devilish lies, and probably something better than special "Get Service" glasses. The words of Jesus Christ burned unto my soul.
Labels: For the spirit, Musings, Rantings
posted by Joel Chan @ 3:32 PM
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