Snapshots from El, Inc.

My inspiration: Vittorio Monti's "Czardas"

posted by Joel Chan @ 10:17 PM 0 comments

Stream of consciousness: Sunday, 25 Jan 2009

I had amazing beef stew for dinner just now, brought by my amazing girlfriend. :)

Sitting in the lab, trying to figure out my Psychometrics assignment... Still having trouble with the technical details, but... More so having trouble fitting details into each category...

Listening to Daniela Chavarria chat on the phone in Spanish.. I think I just heard her say "pre unta", which I think means "question?"

Last night's CNY party in Dr. Niece's house was AWESOME. We are really SO blessed to be on a student-centered campus with such a rare and extraordinary President.. Noise-makers, fortune cookies, chopsticks, "Chinese yo-yos", Chinese decorations, and CNY music... He really outdid himself! And the FOOD.. Oh my Lord, the food... I'm still feeling the weight of all that glorious food I ingested last night... Lin go, beef stew, nasi lemak, potato curry, chocolate cookies, beef fried rice, yee sang, koniaku jelly, ketupat, and MARMITE CHICKEN... OOOOHHHH what a feast!! And the noise and clamor and joyous sounds of laughter and mirth... Made me warm and fuzzy inside, and almost brought tears to my eyes as the yelling and laughing during the yee sang tossing transported me back to my beloved home country..
Such a blessing to be in this Ozarks community... :)

Thinking of what is one of my favorite verses ever now: Jesus said, "Truly I say unto you, before Abraham was, I AM." What??? What a punk!! Seriously, God is the biggest punk ever, excusing my language... By punk, I mean the kind of God that does whatever He pleases, and no one can say anything or do anything about it to change Him... He truly is all-sufficient, all-powerful, and sovereign.. It's a good thing He is also all-loving, or we'd all be toast by now...

Remembering also the Scriptures we heard in church this morning... In particular, this one: "...while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." AMAZING. While we were yet sinners!! What love.. Such inexpressibly GLORIOUS agape love... And here I am so often struggling to love those I deem "undeserving", those who "irritate" me or cross my path the wrong way... God help me change...

Thinking now that I really need to get back to my Psychometrics homework.. And then study for Cog Psych quiz over Chapter 1 tomorrow... And read Chapter 1 of Computer Science.. But oh so looking forward to more beef stew with ramen (lo mien!!) when I get back to the room...

I am blessed and highly favored.. :)

End stream of consciousness.

Labels: Musings, Random, Snapshots

posted by Joel Chan @ 7:09 PM 0 comments

Peering into the future

About a week ago, I got an email invitation to the University of Pittsburgh's interview weekend. It's hard to convey the incredible joy I felt when I got that news! I'd been wrestling on and off with self-esteem issues, obsessively thinking that my application and preparation was inadequate, making "in case no one accepts me" plans, etc.
It was very calming to hear some warm words and concrete evidence for my dense soul that God is indeed in control. :)

So, with graduate school now a very firm possibility, I've been doing more and more thinking about my future, both short-term and long-term. If I go to Pittsburgh, I need to look for a church to plug into, I need to find a place to live, etc. These things affect Anna, too, cos with more concrete possibilities she's been looking at schools and options in Pittsburgh.
I also learned that applying to the Center for the Neural Basis of Cognition (joint Pitt/CMU venture) is still a possibility. I really want to, and I think the only thing holding me back is my assessment of my competence. Because students of the mind who ignore the brain will quickly get left behind; too much is happening in cognitive and computational neuroscience for me to lightly pass this opportunity by. I'd like to put myself in the strongest possible position to contribute after my PhD to both knowledge of the mind and the advancement of knowledge and learning in Malaysia.

Dealing more intimately with the details of experimental design, ethics, and the IRB is giving me more of a realistic taste of what my life will probably be like in the next 4-5 years. Lots of hard work, lots of time put in, but oh how I love it! :) I have increasingly more confidence that this is what God made me for.

Working harder on controlling my finances has also helped me to see how my money flows, what I tend to spend money on, how much I need to live comfortably, etc. Makes me think of the possibility of marriage while in graduate school, and how we would go about it financially. With all the possible variability, we know for sure that it won't be easy. But God has also shown Himself faithful in providing for us, usually just enough so we know that He's there, but not so much that we get complacent. We're so grateful to Him for His loving provision as our Father. :)

It's weird for me, thinking so concretely about what to do after graduation. It's yet to sink in for me that this is my last semester at Ozarks. 4 years of liberal arts education, somewhat sheltered from the harsh winds of adult life.. In May, I will (God willing) walk to receive my diploma, and then... Who knows? God knows, for sure, and I think I have some ideas, but.. It's going to be an interesting journey, with lots of hard work and sweat, tears, and joy in store..

Through all this, my prayers remain the same:


I'm looking forward to this year. :)

Labels: For the spirit, Musings, Snapshots

posted by Joel Chan @ 3:29 PM 0 comments

My direction for 2009

Labels: For the spirit, News

posted by Joel Chan @ 12:33 PM 0 comments

Happy 2009! :)

Happy new year everyone! :)

We are well into Christmas break, so now I no longer have any excuse not to blog. My fondest salutations to those who continue to check on this pitiful excuse for a web journal. It's been acting more like a peer-reviewed quarterly academic journal lately, with information that was hot last year being posted today.

Anyway, some updates are in order.


The above picture demonstrates how much of a nerd I have become. =p For "leisure reading" this break, I have Allen Newell's (1990) Unified Theories of Cognition and various articles on visual imagery and reasoning for my senior thesis. I've also played a few games of Sudoku, and have gotten to the 8-disc level of the Tower of Hanoi puzzle.


I've also gotten hooked on organization. I've finally come up with an accounting system that I can work with. Today I'll be able to analyze my December expenses and estimate a workable budget for the next month. :)

It's been a good year. I'm happy and content, and feel very blessed to be where I am today, with the opportunities I've got. I'm thankful for all the factors (parents' hard work, Ozarks' generosity, and ultimately, God's blessings) that have made it possible for me to study in the US. I'm thankful to God for blessing me with Anna. I'm thankful to God for "building my vita" with my summer internship in DC, Hagaman's arrival at Ozarks, and the continued generous support of my parents. Above all, I'm grateful that God loves me unconditionally and continues to work in my life. :)

Psalm 90 may be my Scripture for the year. My heart's prayer for 2009 is well said in these 3 verses:

v12 - Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

v14 - Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

v17 - May the beauty of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.

Happy 2009, everyone! :)

Labels: Appreciation, For the spirit, Musings, News, Snapshots

posted by Joel Chan @ 10:53 PM 0 comments

October snapshot

I am currently:

1. Amazed by Tommy Emmanuel (see the video if you don't understand - it's his live performance of "Angelina")
   
2. Sensibly inspired to worship God with thanksgiving for music.
3. Sensibly inspired to practice my guitar and perhaps buy a thumb pick to start learning fingerstyle.
4. Wrestling with my senior research project: currently looking at mental models theory, reasoning, discourse comprehension processes, and working memory, and trying to extract a workable research question from my readings.
5. Reading John Piper's "When I Don't Desire God"
   
6. Meditating on Psalm 139 and Ephesians 2:1-7.
   
7. Amazed by God's grace.
8. Daily asking for grace and forgiveness as the Holy Spirit is showing me more and more of my selfishness, "I deserve better" mentality, my lack of proper desire for God, while simultaneously awakening a desire to be more thankful, humble, and selflessly loving, and more in love with the One who created me and gave all for me.
   
9. Amazed at the thought that my sister is getting married in 17 days.
10. Saddened by the worsening political situation in Malaysia.
11. Preparing to start applying to graduate schools.
12. In love. =)
    

Labels: Music, Snapshots

posted by Joel Chan @ 7:41 PM 0 comments

My personality according to Jung

I took a free personality test in Clinical Psych today. Here are the results. I think they're pretty spot on, for the most part. I "bolded" the descriptors that I thought were most accurate. What do you think?

Labels: Musings, Random

posted by Joel Chan @ 8:16 AM 0 comments